


For me, my love

by EssayOfThoughts



Series: MCU Maximoff Oneshots [48]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Psychological Trauma, dubious consent issues, manipulative relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 04:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6270190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EssayOfThoughts/pseuds/EssayOfThoughts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Those though... they are easier to talk of, in some ways. The things he <i>asked</i> of her. They are easy to own to, easy to acknowledge, easy to accept judgement for. He had asked, he had never ordered and they were things he had not manipulated of her.</p><p>He had <i>asked</i>. For those things it is all too easy to shoulder the blame.</p><p><i>For me, my love,</i> and she can almost feel his breath by her ear, oddly cold in all the warmth of Asgard. <i>For me, won't you do this single thing?</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	For me, my love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wandasmaximoffs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandasmaximoffs/gifts).



> Written for my dear friend [Rin](http://chaotiic.tumblr.com/), due to one of her RP 'verses in which Wanda joins Loki while traumatised by her brother's death, largely due to Loki's manipulation of her while she is so vulnerable. Wanda later returns from Asgard due to Loki asking one thing too many of her, Pietro later returns, Pietro also dates a Personified Tesseract, who goes by Tess.
> 
>  **Please Note:** A chunk of Wanda's ponderances come from my own experience with pondering over a manipulative relationship, as a warning. They're not particularly pleasant, especially if you've been manipulated in such a way yourself and do cover the problems of consent in such circumstances pretty explicitly.

Some days Wanda spends thinking, after her return from Asgard. She does not read, because her attention will waver oddly, and other days she dares not use her powers after nightmares of what she had done with them at Loki's whim. Other days it is easy to curl into the side of Vision or Pietro - she does not yet quite trust her brother's Tess enough to relax around her - and to simply relax back into life on Earth.

Other days, of course, are hectic things, but she has so far been fortunate enough to be able to handle them when they have come.

 _For me, my love,_  the voice slips through her mind like sickly silver. _Won't you do this single thing?_

The silver is nothing like Pietro's, Pietro's has always been a bright clean pure silver, and when it flashes with grey it is _grey_  and not this other ashen pallor. Loki's mind was like mercury, like a grand peaceful lake of it, and she had never thought to seek the monsters of its icy depths. It had been too easy, in her grief, to compare his silver to Pietro's and leave it at that.

Pietro is back now. Pietro's silver is shining and bright, and Loki's, lying Loki's pales in comparison.

Some days it is hard to think back, to think of her time on Asgard. It was pleasant, certainly, as pleasant as anything could be when grieving half of one's own self, but what she had done, what she had _believed_...

That is _not_  pleasant.

Usually Pietro notices when her thoughts go this way. Feels the tilt of her mind, sees her eyes go distant, darkly pondering what had happened, and tugs her to discussion or to some game or simply into a hug.

(One time he had sat her down with Tess and tried to make them have a conversation, but that had ended up closer to bickering. Wanda likes Vision well enough, but he is more than just the Mind Stone. Tess on the other hand is solely the Tesseract.)

 _For me, my love,_  echoes through her mind and Wanda shivers. _Won't you do this single thing?_

Pietro would never ask of her like that. Pietro never has, never, she sometimes thinks, _could_ ; it would go against his very nature. _Wanda,_  he would tease instead. _Come on, please, just once?_  It would be a joke, it would be a game, it would _siblinghood_ , bright and shining and unavoidable. It would not be the slippery snakes of Loki's speech.

Those though... they are easier to talk of, in some ways. The things he _asked_  of her. They are easy to own to, easy to acknowledge, easy to accept judgement for. He had asked, he had never ordered and they were things he had not manipulated of her.

He had _asked_. For those things it is all too easy to shoulder the blame.

 _For me, my love,_  and she can almost feel his breath by her ear, oddly cold in all the warmth of Asgard. _For me, won't you do this single thing?_

Other things though... other things she had not yet told Pietro, had not admitted to Vision, had not yet spilled as secret to anyone, but kept them hidden behind layer after layer of scarlet. _Burning scarlet,_  she thinks. _Burn out Loki's ice and steel_.

Other things she had chosen to do she thinks. She _thinks_. She cannot be certain. Loki's words were insidious, and it was hard to know how they would affect her. It was like watching her scarlet affect her mind: unpredictable.

 _For me, my love,_  he would whisper, and her mind would simply say _yes_.

Sometimes, she remembers, he had not had to ask. It had been easy to give, in the face of all his kindness and his comfort and his gentle questions.

 _For you, my love,_  she had whispered that night, his body against hers, sheets over both their bare skin. A choice, she had thought. A freely given thank you for all his kindness, all his love.

 _For_  me, _my love,_  and she can feel the weight of his words now. _Won't you do this single thing?_

("For **me** ," echoes in the silence after)

Maybe, Wanda thinks as her brother's words echo in her ears, it was a mistake to admit so readily to all she had done at Loki's behest.

 _"You cannot judge Tess,"_  he had said. _"You have Vision, you_  had  _Loki."_

Pietro does not know. Pietro did not mean for his words to do this. Pietro does not know, does not know, does not _know_.

It was not said in cruelty.

 _For_   **me** , _my love_ , and it is almost a possessive snarl, that word, that claiming _me. Won't you do this single thing?_

 _No_ , she thinks. _No, never again_. She can almost feel his fingers, creeping and gentle on her skin, feel how his body had been against hers and it is like ice. Gooseflesh covers her, even curled as she is in the corner of her bed, beneath blankets, hiding from the world and watching it. _Not yours_ , she thinks. _Not yours, not ever._ She was Pietro's sister. Pietro was her brother. They were each other's first and foremost, even dead. _Not Loki's_ , she thinks. _Even if I gave him myself._

Gooseflesh still covers her as she hears her brother knock on her door.

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you waiting for prompts I promise I am getting to them. I was kind of walloped in the face with the muse for this, but those ones are on their way. The first at least should be done by tomorrow.
> 
> Otherwise, comments and kudos are very much appreciated, comments especially.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Prompt: Some blessed Hope](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6502972) by [EssayOfThoughts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EssayOfThoughts/pseuds/EssayOfThoughts)
  * [Prompt: Nothing beside remains.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7925473) by [EssayOfThoughts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EssayOfThoughts/pseuds/EssayOfThoughts)




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